YodaMamma MS & More

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Location: Crescent City, Fl, United States

I am 60, have MS, am an avid cook, love making candles (soy) and watching the endless parade of Nature outside my home. I treat the MS with supplements and LDN, I do not use any of the C.R.A.B. MS meds, we don't get along well. I was married for 13 years, we were together for 15. We are now divorced. Sad, that. I do still love him, but ONLY as the father of my baby. Better to keep it civil, hurts the child(ren) less that way, but is oh-so-hard to do sometimes.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Of Late

Well, last week Rob went up to Maine and helped a friend move...here. For now at least. She has been through a lot in the last few years and needed someone to give her a second chance in life, so we are. She is a tremendous help around the house, as she is a cleaning Queen! I don't ask, never would, but she says it is therapeutic for her so she just jumps in and does it (YAY YAY YAY!!) She is going to stay as long as she needs, and is already applying for jobs..won't take her long to land one, either.
Other then that...I made Thanksgiving dinner...we roasted a 14 lb turkey in my large cast iron dutch oven, in the fireplace! I added yams, 'taters, stuck a large vidalia onion in the turkey, and a couple of cans of corn for the sweetness and the liquid. It came out AWESOME! I also made stuffing (not from a box, either), rolls, cranberry sauce, and a double sized pumpkin pie. It all came out Dee-Luscious! I was, unfortunately, in So much pain by the time it was all done that I couldn't eat, not for hours...I took Motrin, yay, but it could barely touch it.
Then I heard her talking to Rob about BVT and how it helped her, so we talked, she stung herself for years (BVT is bee venom therapy, or bee sting therapy)SO I looked it up and what is it's main application? MS!!!
So I'm going to try it. Oh I know the stings hurt, but like she said, the pain from the sting is nothing compared with the pain relief it offers. I'll take anything that helps at this point.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I emailed her and she answered! Herself, not a minion! Very nice lady, very nice email :-)
If you click on her name (in the title and in the other post where I talk about how her music affected me) you will go to her website (I asked permission, hence the email) and you can hear (and buy) her music. I will have to return the CD at some point, hopefully before that I can get mine own copy...in any case it will always be with me, in my heart if not my ears...
Nice to know that some artists are not all full of themselves!


I'm having one of those everything-hurts-for-no-reason days, one of those I'm-depressed-for-no-reason ones. I know it will pass, it always does. Rob is going to Maine in a few days, for a few days, and when he returns he will have a friend in tow...someone who really needs a place to land, to start over, and since we have all this room, why not here? I think it will be nice having another woman around...help with the testosterone overload I deal with...(Hubby, son, roomie with new girlfriend *boyhowdy does That raise the testosterone levels!!!*, and me the only female in constant attendance) (Yes, the new GF comes by but like I said that only makes the testosterone levels spike ROFL) Not that I mind, but it will be nice to have some help 'round cheer...And Right in time for the Holidays, too! That will be nice...Rob's never one to decorate and I can't, so maybe this year we will look festive for once!

Saturday, November 11, 2006


You know, sometimes I get the feeling that nobody ever reads this, that my words just go out into the ethers and I am alone. Oh I know there is my wonderful family, and I still, always, feel the Angels, but I also feel, sometimes, very alone. Right now, Rob is downstairs getting reading for a reading, Robbin is watching The Wizard of Oz, probably for the first time that he is actually able to understand it, I am here in my Bedouin Lair, eating my dinner (salmon and leftover Moussaka Parmesan) and thinking about, wondering, whether my words have any meaning or not. Not that it matters, if you are drawn to read my babble, you will, it won't change me, I just hope that sometime I write something that helps you. Or someone. Or amuses you. Humor is very Healing. I know that just the writing of it helps me. I need to write. It is like breathing, I have to do it to survive. I write for me just as much, or more, then I do for you. I Honor you for reading it, and I Thank You for it. With the MS taking away so much of *me* the writing is the new *me*. I am still ME, but now *I* exist more in word then in deed. I used to dance. Did you know that? I was actually a disco dancer. Really! Leather hotpants and all! I moved like lightning, danced like a crazed woman. Now I cannot walk to the mailbox without having to tell people about it! It is an achievement. Before, it would have been something I would not have even thought about. Now it is something I have to force every step to do. That hurts. More emotionally, actually, then physically. So I write about it to mitigate the hurt and maybe inspire someone else, who thinks the mailbox an impossible task, to go, get the mail. The mailbox, BTW, is mostly allegorical. It is real for me, but your impossible task might be something, anything, else. And if I say anything tht helps you with your impossible task, then my babble is all worth it. That and the release I get from writing it in the first place. I think if I didn't write I'd explode. That could be nasty.
Well there's the phone with Rob's reading and my dinner is now cold. No matter. I feel better then if I were full of food. Like I said, I don't know if anyone reads this, but I feel better for the writing.
'night now


Yee Gawds does it Ever End? Now I am getting the same posts over and over, at Least 4 times!!! I will be SO glad when Mercury goes Direct (on the 17th, shadow period ends on the 22nd)Now, if you're wondering what the heck I'm rambling about *this time*...there is a well known phenomenon called Mercury Retrograde, where communications tend to break down, electronics betray their masters, and the whole world seems to go crazy. Google it. This time, besides my email problems, a very dear sistahfriend lost not one but TWO relatives on the SAME DAY, one of them being her very beloved grandmother. I have been sending her much love as I know she is taking it very hard. Another friend is at this moment in carewatch at the hospital, for a young person with a punctured lung. Robbin just fell off his tire swing...first time ever...he's a little scratched, very dirty, but MommyLove and orange juice set him right up.
I know I am posting like a madwoman today. Not sure why, I just need to write.
On a Higher note...today is 11:11 and there are Angels all around. I can feel them, it feels like a soft warmth, like I was being enfolded in their beautiful wings and fed by their breath. I know things have been rough lately but I know, and I am not sure *how* I know, I just do, that it will all be ok. Trust. I do.
I had more dreams last night, good ones. I dreamt about writing, which might be why I am being so prolific today, continuing the dream, where does the dream stop? Or does it?

Eggplant and Salt and Goodness!

Ok, y'all know I use Sole (Solay), well I also use their cooking salt, the only thing I use "regular" salt for is brining, like when Rob dresses out a rabbit I brine it for a few hours in heavily salted water, and last night I brined the eggplant. Brining draws out things...in rabbit, the gaminess, in eggplant, the extra water. See, I think about it like this...with table salt, they have taken out all the minerals, so I also use it to subtract...with mineral salt, it has all the goodness, so I use it to add.
That said...
I like eggplant but have cooked it, maybe, a handfull of times in my entire culinary life. But I saw Alton Brown talking about it and it sparked my curiosity, and when I saw some beautiful shiny purple ones at the store I thought to myself...self...go for it!
Ok, now I have this beautiful thing in the fridge, what to do with it? So, I looked in several cookbooks and ended up combining recipes, making a kind of Moussaka Parmesan. And it was Awesome! So I'll tell y'all what I did...(if *I* can do it, you can!)
I sliced the eggplant in thick slices, maybe 3/4"? and brined them while I got the other things ready and the oil heated. I took some flour, and added basil, oregano, parsley, salt, and some Parmesan cheese. I think you can pretty much add whatever you have on hand, that was what I thought would be good. Dumped some oil in a skillet, I used the last of the olive so I added some regular cooking oil, heated it, took a big onion (I happened to have vidalia so I used one) cut it in half and sliced the halves, my hands were not quite up to slicing it whole.
Then I took the eggplant slices and patted them dry, and coated them with the herbed flour. Fried them till brown, and put them in an oven-proof dish. When they were all browned, I added the onion and some garlic to the oil, and sauteed that for about 10 mins. I spooned the onion over the eggplant, sprinkled on some Parmesan, then I took a drained can of garbanzo beans (chick peas, you know?) and poured that over the rest, then I added a can of diced tomatoes, topped the whole thing with sliced mozzarella and some more Parmesan. I think any cheese would do, I just happened to have mozzarella. Baked the whole thing at 375* for the time it took for the brown rice to cook, about 1/2 hour.
Now I know the whole thing sounds labor intensive, but it really isn't, if *I* can do it and still have the energy to EAT it, then it isn't that hard.
I Do think the LDN in the A.M is helping with energy, I can't tell you how many times I have made wonderful dinners and gone straight to bed while the guys ate, not having the energy to eat at all. I think anyone with MS knows what I mean, and probably a lot of people without MS do as well!
Bon Appetite!

Friday, November 10, 2006

internet and dreams...and eggs

I would have posted about this a few days ago but I've been fighting to get online with steady access and not intermittent one. You see, we have Adelphia high-speed internet. They are in the process of a changeover to another company, and I was offline for a couple of days (the whole area was). Meantime, we went back to a landline while the VOIP companies figure out what they're doing. The landline company had sent me a DSL modem to try, and since the timing coincided with Adelphia's "blackout" I decided to try it, Well I didn't think anything was worse then dialup. I was wrong. I had to reboot the PC, the modem, the router about 20x a day (no exaggeration) and still spent more time off- then online. That with the thousands of spam emails made it quite difficult to post. So...I went back to Adelphia and got a slightly upgraded service then before, and while it hardly qualifies as "lightening fast" it IS much better and I am on all the time not for 20 mins every few hours! Fortunately the spam seems to be slowing down, too, only about 1,400 emails today so far, and lately it would have been more like 3,500...
I've heard about a site that wants to know why we change providers..well here guys is an earfull!!
Now, for my dream.
A friend loaned me a CD by a lady named Sophia. CD is Chakra Healing Chants. An Awesome CD, the music is beautiful and so soothing. So I've been looping it and playing it all night as I sleep. When I do, I feel SO much better in the morning, I can't really describe it. Well, the other night, in my dream, I was in a train in the desert. We stopped at a HUGE building, the center building was about 7-8 stories high and very white, the "wings" were a bit shorter, maybe 5-6 stories, and seemed to go on forever. Behind the buildings were vast gardens (yes, we were in the desert, not renowned for vast gardens). I also remember descending to a gaming room, and when I was in my room getting a call from my deceased sister. The dream was very vivid, in the manner of visions. I'm still *there*, even now.
Well when I awoke I told Rob about it. He said "That's Shamballa!" Now that name I had heard but never looked into, and knew nothing about it...since then I have found that it is a mythical land reputed to be located over the WHITE island in the Gobi Desert
Rob also said that in a meditation he had been taken there, but where HE saw it was in snowcapped mountains...again, the Tibetians believe it to be under the snow in the mountains
Freaky, huh? I still feel like all I have to do is close my eyes and I'm there...actually, I don't even hav to do that, just think about it...I'm there right now, and have been describing it as I see it. A strange duality, I am there and also here at the keyboard in my beduin lair (aka our bedroom)
Read this page: http://www.anunda.com/notebook/shamballah.htm
I gotta say that is one powerful CD!!!
In more mundane news, the Auracana *hen* just started crowing, so I guess no blue eggs from her...Rob went yesterday and got 12 more chicks, about a month old and nicely feathered out. Our hens are still laying like gangbustahs...getting an average of 9 egs a day...from 11 hens! Now normally that would not be noteworthy, but usually by now hens have started tapering off or even stopped laying altogether for the winter. Not my girls! Big beautiful eggs from big beautiful hens. Yessiree!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Due to the massive amounts of email I am getting...spam that is...Please if you want to email me don't use my "normal" address but send it to yodamamma@gmail.com, at least for now. I am deleting on average 5,000 + emails a day. My delete finger is getting so strong I pity the poor bug I might flick with it!!!
The LDN in the a.m program is still on track, I do have more aches and pains then usual but nothing I can't handle. A Lot of it is from my right leg and ankle and I don't even know if that is MS related. You see, for some years not my right leg is bowing out, like an old sailor..my foot pronates so badly I almost walk on my ankle. And because U limp constantly the calf is losing muscle mass. That is one of the reasons I vetoed the TKR, what good is replacing the knee when it is the ankle wherein lies the problem? I think it is time to call for a scooter. OH I Hate to even think of it! But I think it has to be done. Rob tells me I am not giving up my freedom, but reclaiming it. Isn't he sweet? Wrong, but sweet...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

LDN in the a.m.

There seems to be an increasing amount of interest in taking LDN in the morning instead of at night, something to do with the endorphin release...so I've been trying it, and so far so good, my diurnal energy is increased substantially. I am also in a lot of pain, but I think that is because I am an idiot and overdid the other night, and have not totally recovered. However, even still, the first day I tried it (this is my third) was a bit different then other days. Usually I get up at the crack of noon, that day by noon I had done two racks of dishes, fed Robbin (twice), gone to the mailbox to mail stuff...now understand that the mailbox is quite a hike for me, we lived here for about 8 months before I even attempted it! Cleaned the bathroom *and* the kitchen, done some heavy-duty diagnostics on the ol' PC...so I think there was some improvement in energy levels, wouldn't you say? I did have a low level headache that started about an hour after I took it, but that went away (On it's own, yet!). Yesterday and today...no headache. And the thing is, that is very rare, as I live with headaches! I have, aside from all the other ailments, substantial arthritis all over (I'm riddled with it, whoopee!) *and* severe scoliosis, upper, lower and lateral. If my spine were straight I would be a full 6" taller then I am. I have *Always* had pain, and for more years then I can tell you have beaten the odds, not just beaten, soundly whipped. I was told (at 14) that by 30 I would be in a wheelchair. I am 52 and still walking. I was told I could NEVER EVER even THINK about having a child. Well I had Robbin at 43. The Dr's want to do a TKR (total knee replacement) No Deal Howie!!! For as long as I can remember Dr's have asked me "HOW do you walk???" My answer is always the same...one foot at a time, Dr., one foot at a time....
So, the different slight aches I have been having are no big deal...I know they'll pass, and life will go on. And I will keep taking LDN in the morning. It is nice to actually *have* a morning...makes the day quite a bit more productive! What I am doing is, I take it when I get up to P. I do go back to bed, but I don't sleep like before, and within an hour or so I'm up and running (well, ok, wobbling).
Oh, and the *spam* keeps coming...this morning over 4,000 so far...*sigh*
Correction...almost 5,000 and it is only a bit past 1 p.m. I'm going shopping.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Rob (and me)

Wow! What a blast we had last night!! Awesome group of people, everyone meshed well, the food was yummy, the music worked...all in all for our first party in this house we could Not have done better!!!
Now...on to...Rob (and me).
I see that I have been posting to this blog for almost two years, and although y'all know *me* pretty well, I have never really told you about Rob, who he is (other then the love of my life), what he is, or what he does.
Now, by now you should have pretty well figured out that I am...how do I put this?...strange. I believe in Spirit, I have seen things that are not in this realm, I talk to beings that others cannot see, and hear them...I am very well educated, extremely well travelled, and deeply in love with Life (and with Rob And Robbin, my wee sweetie...) So my strangeness does not stem from ignorance, and I do not write from heresay, but from experience.
Rob is an incredible man. He is a true Renaissance man. He is also an incredible Healer and Reader. He can look at you and *know* you. Needless to say we don't keep secrets 'round here, we can't...His style of healing is along the lines of Reiki, but even more complete. I have seen him perform what I would consider almost a miracle. Example...when I had Robbin, I was 43, and went through 36 hours of labor, mainly induced, with contractions 3 min apart the entire 36 hours, only to conclude in a C-sec. My body was so damaged, I cannot even begin to tell you. After a week of him having to lift me if I needed to get up for anything, as I could not stand up on my own, nor could I look ahead when I walked but could only shuffle, seeing only the ground, Rob decided that enough was enough and he had to act. So, that night as we went to bed, he told me to go to sleep and he would work on me, to try to mitigate the pain and the damage. The next morning, I awoke, got up, and was halfway to the bathroom when I realized what I had just done. There was NO pain. None. I was walking normally and looking straight ahead. The pain never returned, either.
Last night one of our guests was in a world of pain, and had been for some time. He told me that he used to look at his wife eye-to-eye, but seemed to have shrunk, and was now looking more at her chin. Rob took him upstairs, worked on him. When they came down, I looked at him and said "you're taller" He was. His wife came over and they kissed...eye-to-eye, mouth-to-mouth, heart-to-heart once again.
Now another thing that differentiates Rob and I from Reiki "masters" is that we do not charge. Ever. We do, however, accept donations. Why no fixed amount? Because then there would inevitably be people that, no matter what we charged, could not afford it. We would have to turn them away. We cannot do that. It goes completely against our beliefs. If we go by donation, then they can give what they can give, only they know what they can and cannot afford. Everything, money, objects, food, clothing, books, firewood...anything is welcome and used gratefully, and never judged for being too little or too small. You see, we ARE the "real deal" We help people. It is what we do, it is what drives us and nurtures us.
Rob is working his technique into teachable form, as am I. I work with crystals and candles, oils and herbs. We both work with energy, but as we are TwinFlames, we do everything the same yet opposite (for an example of how TwinFlames are the same yet opposite...we both like ice cream (same). yet he likes plain vanilla and I like chocolate with the works...opposite). He works with science, I work "the old ways", yet we both work with Spirit and God/Goddess/All-there-IS. Our book, when complete, will have both of our workings in it.
I also am a healer, but my way, again, is different. His is methodical, mine is electric. He takes his time, goes over the person completely, I let my hands go where they go, and zap. Energy goes where attention flows. I learned that a long time ago when I was studying Huna Healing. Rob is more the warrior, I am the nurturer, together we are complete
Ok, so now you know how *really* strange I am!
And BTW, none of this comes from Ego. It would not work if it did. A long time ago in another life and another land, a reader told me that one of my life lessons was humility. At the time my answer was (I swear I really said this!) "Humble? But I'm the most humble person I know!" I can't even type that without laughing. Oh how much I have learned since then! Oh how ignorant I was!! If that was a life lesson, it is one well learned, and taken to Heart. I think anyone that reads this that knows me would attest (I hope) that I am not prideful or boastful. I learned that true power, true strength comes from Love, never from ego. From God/dess. From On High. From the Divine Source. Call it God. Call it Goddess. Call it Id. Call it Dios. Call it Allah. Call it what you may. Or don't call it at all. It is there, it is inevitable. When I work healing, or Rob does, the energy comes *through*, never *from* And if anyone ever, EVER tells you that they can heal you...RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! The healer is merely the vessel that directs and channels the Divine healing energy. Downsteps it if you will, and directs it to where it needs to go. The energy IS Divine and IS part of the Life force that fills us all. Energy goes where attention flows. Does that make more sense now?
*phew* I think I need to rest now.