YodaMamma MS & More

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Location: Crescent City, Fl, United States

I am 60, have MS, am an avid cook, love making candles (soy) and watching the endless parade of Nature outside my home. I treat the MS with supplements and LDN, I do not use any of the C.R.A.B. MS meds, we don't get along well. I was married for 13 years, we were together for 15. We are now divorced. Sad, that. I do still love him, but ONLY as the father of my baby. Better to keep it civil, hurts the child(ren) less that way, but is oh-so-hard to do sometimes.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Robbin's "Elvis" look, Black leather jacket and all!!

Isn't he handsome?

The Silver Lining

The visit is over, and Robbin is back in Pa. And now this:
As I am sure you are aware, this whole situation with Robbin has been very difficult for me, on many levels. The reason I allowed him to go to school there was because I was convinced that the schools there were better equipped to deal with someone with Robbin's particular brand of brilliance. There were several private schools to choose from (the school district pays the tab) (in this case it exceeds 50k a year) but one shone more brilliantly then the others. That school is called Pathways. They keep their student body small, and are very selective as to who they accept. They get, on average, over 600 applications annually and accept only about 5%. Well, we got the call...Robbin is in!! They LOVED him, and even the teachers went to the meeting to plead his case (We want this child HERE! we WANT to work with him, he is a joy!) which is *very* usual...
So, he will start a week from Monday (takes that long to complete the rest of the paperwork, make his IEP, and get the bus scheduled for him) I am VERY impressed by the people, and will even be able to have phone/email contact with his teachers, so I will be able to follow his progress daily. And of course, as soon as I can move down there, and get a place within the school district, he will be living with me again! YAAY!!!
I am SO proud of my little man...he really impressed them, and made them fall instantly in love with him...this is the BEST school of it's type *in the country*! They get students from California, New York, even the Bahamas, because of their superior facilities and programs. Kind of like getting in Harvard...or a Montessori, but better and totally designed for HIM and HIS needs.
AH, finally some good news in this deep, dark winter...
And speaking of the winter, this one being especially harsh, even for here, I have to say something that will probably make you gasp...
I owe CK a huge debt of gratitude. Yes, I am saying this in public! Why? Because if she had not done what she did, when she did it, we would still be in the cabin. And while that is not necessarily a bad thing, this winter is very very cold and poor Rob would be working his arse off every day with the chopping wood/shoveling snow/trying to keep the pantry stocked bit...and it would be worse then last year by far, and the winter is far from over! The "january thaw" was today. Yes, ONE day, and the "thaw" brought us all the way up to the high 20's. Not exactly a "thaw" in MY book!!!!
And Robbin would not be going to the most excellent school he will be going to. So, CK, Thank you.
And as a FYI for y'all, she and I are getting along very very well, even Rob and I are talking and acting like adults...civilized, even! Robbin, of course, is delighted at all of the above...he is SO thrilled at the school he could burst...as could we all...This school treats not just the child, but all facets of the child...mental/physical/emotional, and even Spiritual! They have three "Zen" rooms the kids can chill out in if they need a little Q.T., which is awesome. I am SO looking forward to touring the school myself, meantime the website will have to do...
Oh Lordy! Is that my neighbor snoring? Or is there an angry bull outside? Geez! That is scary!!! Oh my......I thought I was bad.....
Well, it is time for bed. Nighty night.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009


When I ended the past post, I was crying. Robbin came in (he had been in his bedroom) and asked why. I said "I'm ok hun, just thinking that the next couple of months will be a bit hard on me"As he went back into the bedroom I heard him very softly say "they'll be hard on me, too"
*crying hard now*


I have heard Robbin say, many times, over the phone "I wish Mommy & Daddy were Mommy & Daddy again"
Now I have SEEN him say it, and when he said it, I saw the light in his eyes dim. I have never seen that before. It makes me SO sad to know that HE is so sad, and that *I* cannot do anything to remedy it.

Update time

Robbin is here, has been for almost 2 weeks *happydance* It has been pure bliss having him here. Rob and I finally have started mending fences. *she* and I have, as well. I only refer to her as *her* and *she* to protect her privacy, BTW. Though I might refer to her as CK (NOT her initials, BTW). We have been doing a LOT of talking. We have decided that what the court ordered was just plain unacceptable...what they wanted was, yes, for Robbin to have me 1 week, Rob the next...BUT, Robbin was supposed to travel back and forth from Florence to Philly EVERY WEEK, go to school here, AND there! So, ANY time off he had for weekend fun would ALL be spent traveling! Two sets of friends, 2 sets of teachers, of lessons, TWO homes..just NOT healthy in any way for my growing boy! Not to mention...sense of security? Not possible. And That is unacceptable. In every way. And let us not forget that the roads here are treacherous in Winter...SO, we have decided that Robbin will be going down to Rob's place and going to school there. The school there is way better equipped to handle Robbin, the one here would have to hire people especially FOR him, and since their resources are limited at best, Gawd knows who would end up teaching him? Whereas THERE, they have the resources, and the people already in place. So, it is best for Robbin to go there. Which means, after Sat I will only see him on teleconference, until Spring Break, when he comes to me (or I go down there and visit).
Another consideration, and a big one, is the weather. Here it is frigging COLD, the last few days if he were going to school here, he'd be waiting for the bus in -15* cold! Yes, that is MINUS 15*!!!! Dang! And today it is snowing..>ALL DAY...and do you think they called school off? nope.
Now, I am going to stay here, at least for now. We already have the divorce well under way, and by me staying here, we should be signing the final papers mid April. If I were to move there, we'd all have to start all over again, and divorce in Pa can take up to TWO years!! So I will stay here, and teleconference with Robbin there, and after the papers are signed and the ink dry I will move there. This gives us a few months to find a place for me there, and save for the move. At that time, Robbin will come live with me, with Rob having very liberal visitation...I need to find a place near them, so Robbin can easily go back and forth, and be in the same school district he is entering now. The aim is for Robbin to have BOTH parents nearby, and be able to establish a solid sense of security. So, yes, the next few months will be the longest, and darkest, and letting him go is the hardest thing I have ever done. But there *finally* is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to do, as a parent, what is best for my son. And it is not right if I say that then do something that is not the best thing for him, and in his best interest. So that is what I am doing. Gods I start crying just thinking about it. I don't want him to go. But he will be happier there, and his growth will be better taken care of by the schools there. It hurts. It breaks my heart. But it is not about ME or my heart, but about HIM and his growth and his potential, which will be better nurtured by the schools there then they ever could here.
MS-wise I am surprisingly even. And I went to the Dr for a check-up, and am now off ALL meds! Only thing I still take is motrin as needed. I no longer need meds for diabetes, or BP, or anything! My blood came back perfect, and we did a pap, also perfect...so I am the healthiest crip on the block...