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Location: Crescent City, Fl, United States

I am 60, have MS, am an avid cook, love making candles (soy) and watching the endless parade of Nature outside my home. I treat the MS with supplements and LDN, I do not use any of the C.R.A.B. MS meds, we don't get along well. I was married for 13 years, we were together for 15. We are now divorced. Sad, that. I do still love him, but ONLY as the father of my baby. Better to keep it civil, hurts the child(ren) less that way, but is oh-so-hard to do sometimes.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

O.B.E. Wan Kenobe

In a few days it will be Robbin's 15th Birthday. As a Mother I tend to spend the days before and during that time remembering where I was and what I was doing during the days prior to giving birth. I remember him moving inside my body, and I remember the birthing process, which in my case included my flatlining and myself being given the option to not return. I remember the voice telling me "You don't have to go back" and my answering "Yes, I do" The voice said "There will be much pain" and my reply was that it would be nothing compared to the pain of never holding my son. So I came back. And Yes, there has been much pain. There has also been much joy, and I do believe that overrides the pain.
Robbin is an awesome person. He is a straight A student, is virtual-schooled, even taking Chinese and Photography as electives! We are now living on what will be our own land someday, in a small place, but it is a double lot so there is actually quite a bit of land. It is a single-wide mobile home, small but cozy. There is a carport and much of our living takes place out there. I have my kitties here, Momma kitty came into hear as soon as we moved and found herself a fella, so she's preggers again. The daddy is either ginger/white or ginger/tabby (there were two of them). We moved here almost 2 months ago. The place we were living was much bigger, but was also very old (this place is MUCH newer and in way better condition). The old place had been virtually abandoned for 30 years so there was a lot going wrong with it, like the floors...they kept getting soft spots and even holes so maneuvering around in my chair was sometimes like maneuvering a minefield. Here, is too small for the chair so it stays out in the carport. That was I can use it to go around the neighborhood if I want.
Rob is ok, still doing his healing work and readings. Right now he is out of town, and I am hoping he can get back by Robbin's Birthday. I know he'd hate to miss it and won't if he can help it. We are on good terms now. Yes, that took some doing, and (on my part mostly, and on Robbin's part hugely) a lot of forgiving (not forgetting, forgiving). Neither of us could live with all that anger. It would turn to illness, so we HAD to release it, and for the most part, we have. I still have to have the TV on all night if I am to get any sleep. If I turn it off I start to think and that inevitably leads to me getting angry again so I pre-program it and leave it on. The other night I was able to turn it off for a few hours so I guess that is getting "better". When I DID turn it off I was rewarded. From the window I can see the night sky. where we are there is very little light pollution, so when the TV went off the stars came out to my vision. Orion was right out the window. I could have reached out and touched it! And you might remember Orion is Robbin's middle name. Cool, eh?
I will not promise to write more often, don't want to make promises...but I will try.
In case you haven't figured out the post name it is Out-of-Body-Experience Wan Kenobe (The O.B.E. as in it?) (I just had to 'splain it to Robbin so I figured just in case...)....


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