ok

I haven't been saying much because I really don't know what to say. Rob left me for someone else. That I don't care about. He has burned my bridge once too often and our union is no more. The unforgivable is that he took Robbin. I haven't seen my baby since Oct 7th. Which means I also missed his 11th Birthday. And Halloween. And tomorrow Thanksgiving. Because of Rob's acts, the lady we were buying the farm from considered our contract in default. So she sold it to someone else. Rob basically abandoned me in an unheated cabin in upper Wisconsin, with no wood and no mode of transportation. I am now living in an apartment in town. The last thing Rob said to me was a few weeks ago when he took the phone from Robbin (Robbin does call me) and screamed obscenities at me, culminating with "you can fucking ROT in Wisconsin!!!" and slammed the phone. I called right back and it took me several minutes to calm Robbin down. Not only was what Rob said nasty, the fact that he said it IN FRONT of Robbin makes it unforgivable.
And YES, I DID call the police as soon as I figured out what was happening. But here *I* was, the hysterical Mother, and here *he* was, the calm Father (of course he was calm, he knew all along what he was doing, I had just found out!) telling them it was just for a short visit, some father-son time. He good ol' boy'd them and they ate it up like candy, even escorted them off the property! With Robbin in *her* car and Rob taking our only vehicle. He lied. He told me, and them, that it would be for "2 weeks, MAX" That was SEVEN weeks ago, and he has made it clear through his actions that he has NO intention of bringing him back. He talks about his "rights" as a parent. WHAT ABOUT MY RIGHTS? What about Robbin's rights? He is being denied the ONLY constant he has had every day of his life. And another thing, Rob never ever even WANTED a child, when we first got together he said a zillion times "promise me you won't get pregnant" He also was responsible for several abortions when he was younger. And of the hundred or so trips he has taken during Robbin's life he never, ever, even ONCE asked about taking Robbin *with* him. Now all of a sudden he's Father of the Year? I don't think so.
The only reason Rob is getting away with this is we are still married. I intend to remedy that as soon as I can. Of course the Holidays slows everything down. Rob was angry at me for earlier postings that I have since removed, saying I "dissed" him "all over the internet" in my blog (gee, I didn't realize it was *that* popular), so I want to make it clear that I am not "dissing" anyone, merely stating the facts.
I am glad Rob is happy. I really am. I do not, I repeat, DO NOT, want him back. I will not be happy until my son is returned to me. Until Rob did this heinous act, Robbin had not been out of my sight for 24 hours in his entire life. I cry every day, several times. I never realized that heartbreak actually physically hurts. Well it does. Sometimes so much I think I am on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack. Sorry if I make typos, it is hard to see through the tears.
More than angry, I am hurt. I am hurt that he took my son, In smaller amounts I am sad that we lost the farm. In no manner am I sad about the end of our marriage. I had been very lonely and very unhappy in it. I always tried to put on a good face and accentuate the positive. For example, I told you about him building me a garden for Mother's day, and did not tell you he kicked a large hole in my bureau. When I asked him why he did that, he said "because I felt like it" Rob has intense anger issues, and even though I have done nothing to warrant it, that anger is being directed toward me. Possibly *because* I have done nothing to warrant it. Guilt is a powerful emotion, and Rob MUST know, on some level, that "he done me wrong" Big time.
I don't hate him. I pity him. Karma WILL catch up with them, and it won't be pretty.